Pensive 3: Reasons

I feel like I need to address the "dark" subject matter and imagery in my art. Not only for the sake of the viewer of the piece, but also to put the pieces of the puzzle together in my own head. I do not make art to exploit my problems, whine about past and present afflictions, etc... I have always been fascinated with the darkness of the human mind; the human mind has amazing power and control over both a person's mental and physical well-being. I am not intending to come across as an angst-ridden person who never grew up emotionally. That is one of the worries i have that the viewer may interpret this as.

To me there is a fine line between the dark and light in life. You may find yourself dwelling in the dark regions of your mind, but it is what you do with it and learn from it that counts. From dark, comes light. Sort of a "beauty in the breakdown" type of scenario. That is why I am fascinated by the delicate nature of the balance between the struggle of the "dark/light" in my own life. It is a very familiar situation in my life. Ever since I was a small child, I struggled with a severe anxiety and panic disorder. This is where I get imagery of either "continuing to fall or learning to fly" or as in the piece "Fear not, for you're still breathing" where i have images of a surreal figure coming to "save" a person who is on the brink of death. I think in my own mind, that "ghost image" is me coming to my own rescue. It is symbolic of the realization of taking control of one's life and not letting the situation control you. Which also brings up another fascination of life, which is how the human mind can be so strong in which we can take control of bad situations and make them good, however, we can also be swept away at any second without any chance of controlling what happens to us.

These issues come from a real place inside of me and i am very connected with and attatched to them. I have worked very hard to become in tune with not only my mental self, but also my physical being. However, no matter how personal these issues are to me, I always strive to make a connection with my viewers. It s my main goal to create things that can help people in some way to connect with others and themselves. So it is not my intention to be a "dark and disturbed" person/artist, but to explore the delicate beauty of coming out of the dark and realizing the light.

Two of my favorite quotes:

"The night is always darkest before the dawn."
"Cast me gently into morning, for the night has been unkind."