only in daydreams...

The sky was a beautiful steel gray, fall is upon us, that sky doesn't lie. Burnt oranges, crispy golden yellows, and fiery reds glimmering against the hardness of the sky begging it to be warm again. The streets turned into dirt paths, cars into horse drawn carriages, buildings disappeared, rolling hills and fields bordered by thick green forests appeared before my very eyes. I held my baby in my arms, clutching him even closer for warmth. My older two boys, bouncing around in their seats, looked around in wide-eyed wonder. I had no other care or worry in the world, as I held my loves tight and close to me. I had what I always had dreamed of and longed for...my family, my home. My body warmed with invigoration as our home came into view and the thought of sitting in front of the fire with the boys brought a smile to my lips. We were home again.

Baby steps

Seeing as the end of 2010 is just around the corner, I have been doing a lot of thinking about goals for the new year and I have come up with 3 realistic and attainable accomplishments for 2011.

First, since I am well underway with paintings and drawings at present, I will be choosing 3 of my best pieces to present to the League of Milwaukee Artists in the spring where they hold a jury selection for new members. I have looked at the website several times to guage what my artist peers are producing and I am impressed and challenged :) Hopefully, being part of something like this will give me a little much-needed recognition amongst my peers as well as a boost into hopefully showing in a gallery someday.

Second, I will be choosing my best painting, drawing, and ceramic pieces (both functional and sculptural) to produce quality, solid portfolios that I will be confident in showing to galleries.

Third, I will be applying to a few art fairs in hopes of being accepted into at least one, good one. At the top is of course the Milwaukee festival of the Arts but I am sure I don't have near enough experience to get into something like this. But I have nothing to lose in trying (except for a little $$) but it should be well worth it!

These are 3 goals for my own personal growth as an artist and they coincide with many smaller goals I have with my husband for our future business. Some of these goals for 2011 are, creating a line of modern/classic ceramic goods for the home. Anything from functional dinnerware to decorative and sculptural pieces. We wil also be offering our services around the milwaukee and surrounding area schools for presenting demos/workshops to art classes, etc... For example, raku pottery is always very fun and popular.

In conclusion, I had a pretty good feeling about 2010, and overall, I do think it was a better year than those in our recent past. Although crowded with many things such as having a baby!!, and taking care of two other kids, it was pretty successful in other personal areas for us. I really am excited about 2011. I feel like we are closing a chapter in our lives and starting a new one. We have had 3 beautiful boys, but now I can say, I am ready to take on this new challenge. I see great things for us in our future, and hopefully all of our hard work will pay off! :)

moving on and looking out

yesterday i had a revelation. I had some images stored away for over a year in my mind for a painting i wanted to do. Yesterday i finally started that painting. It seems to be merging quite well with where i am at mentally with my work right now. I have been looking to move forward and step outside my usual comfort zone of straight up figurative sculpture, painting, and drawing. I plan on merging that with concepts and ideas on the current state of our socioeconomic landscape. Merging figures, landscapes and literal statements using a variety of media and techniques. I have been hoping to explore different painting styles and media combinations for sometime. It seems to fit well with the current theme i am researching.

Piece #1 standing in lines

A statement on our current divide of socioeconomic class, the downtrodden state-of-mind of a group of people, the hopelessness of unemployment and disapperance of attaining the American dream for many families. Standing in lines waiting for a chance to get help with jobs, heating assistance, food, healthcare, and shelter as each passing year people get enveloped deeper and deeper into their role as "the poor." Dreams of a home, a job, and a certain quality-of-life float away with the clouds in the sky. People are labeled as such and walk around feeling the eyes of others demeaning them everywhere they go, being looked down on as worthless, uneducated, and lazy. In a constant purgatory state between having the hope to come out of the cloud of depression, hopelessness and having the wear-with-all to get through another year of struggling to survive or ultimately succumbing to the fate you fear has become your reality and your future. This is where many people exist in time and space. Not really a part of one or the other, in a state of anxiety, confusion, depression, and survival as the sickening divide between the rich and the poor gets even larger.

lost in a literal translation

It's the inevitable roller coaster of the psyche of an artist. As soon as things are going along nicely and you seem to be happy with your work, you get hit in the face with a your own self righteous reality. As I have been merrily working along, I was perusing Milwaukee area art galleries online one night last week to see what kind of work is out there (my competition/my peers), I got this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. My work doesn't look anything like the work that is out there...in other words high end art. This doesn't really mean it is worth what people will pay for it and honestly i found much of it to be self-indulgent and pretentious. However, I began to see my recent work as too "art student". As I backed the chair up from the computer desk and turned to tell my husband that I was afraid my work was too... (pausing to think of the word) he said "personal?" almost before I even finished my sentence.

I know my current work is personal and my intention with my work was to brush up on my drawing skills and maybe prepare something for a future painting. But I have come to have a soft spot for these works more than just painting preps. I love the softness of the line and shadow, the stark yet quiet contrast of the light and dark, the peacefulness of the pose, and the simplicity of the subject matter. Maybe this is because I have grown as a person since I have had my children and have a respect and appreciation for those subtle moments. Maybe that's all these works are meant to be. AlthoughI have always struggled to come up with something "avante guard". For example, I was browsing through a website of an old professor of mine from college and was awe struck my his artist's statement. It was pages long! And very much in depth not only about a culture of people and the way they live, but about the geographics of the landscape and it's isolation and the affect this has on the people who live there. It was very much a careful and in-depth study and interpretation of a socially relevant subject matter. I was really intimidated and suddenly I felt very small as an artist. And i didn't necessarily get it...what I do get is what i know. Am I doing the one thing I can't stand about other artists; creating selfish art?? After so many years of creating art in school and trying to please professors and getting through grueling critiques, I made a promise to myself that I am going to create art here on out because I love it. I have nothing to prove anymore. But I still strive to be a sensitive and relevant artist.

I tend to drift toward the human psyche when I create my art. I go inward, not out. It's who I am. But I wonder if this is my calling to create "outside the box" so to speak. Getting out of my comfort zone may be just what I need to do...